Stargazing was a good idea

Stargazing was a good idea

Over my fractured logic that survived the discipline area

I have a better view of the sky

For my stature elevates whenever someone I kill loses and dies

But this little game was never satisfying

‘Coz a little part of me said that this was wrong and terrifying

Still it undeniably was fun

To think my anger could actually freeze the sun

Sipping bones out of the ash

Of the dead me that stifled the hole when they choked me for cash

The tulips of vomit I behold

While the fake eyes under my shirt I fret and fold

I see a body tied to my torture chair

Did the poisoned honey finally kiss the poor lung’s air?

The gun I defended fired back at my neck

My wooden blood choked my unguarded secret deck

I recall the times they dragged me to the cellar of the thirteenth hour

Where the moths licking the yellow bulb did my mind devour

Rubbing gardens in the kitchen sink left cold

My receiving tears and warmth I vehemently sold

The more I try, the more my visage melts

How I laugh as my countless images I struggle to hold with a belt

I can’t help playing with my whipped emotions

And enjoy clanking down those forbidden and colorful potions

I’m that brat which my parents had warned me in my childhood

Growing into that very monster, my action no one understood

One stab, one shot, one pill

And now I count all the dead bodies I piled up on the mossy hill

Listen to me mama I’m coming home

Tell daddy I’ll get rid of the abyss in our dome

From where those rotten flesh look at you every night

Making everyone cower at the death’s very glorious sight

But I never really came back

What I offered was a living corpse bundled up in a sack

I laughed, they called it a lie

My miserable sobbing no one came to dry

So I stabbed myself with a grinning nail

And showed the cruel dancers how my gin runs pale

Don’t you both worry I’m still your child

It’s just that my head occasionally runs and kicks wild

Don’t look for that little kid in my resurrected veins

For I threw it down the train running across the plains

The reflection in my mirror changes every day

‘Who am I’ keeps drumming in my every way

Every time I crack open my skull with my tongue’s steep

I realize that I indeed pushed my fingers down my throat too deep

Is it wrong or were they right?

I got no answers, just a hellhound’s painless bite

The rejection suddenly felt so nice

My very abuse came back with a price

Losing sight of time and desire

How come the flames on the earth never burned with such fire?

Buried as a body with flowers and land

Invisible as the soul cradles with the reaper’s sand

There I stand holding my dead figure, waiting for a panacea

As my eyes peek from hell just to say this stargazing was a good idea

– Apurva

#Agony #Dark #Death #Poem