Let’s be scared together

It has been dark for a while now, I don’t feel the sun anymore The pain comes back with the receding light and I know that there’s light no more.

Loneliness is my only companion This pain is my only true friend It never leaves me to cry alone Takes me in its arms, has a shoulder to lend.

I hope for the numbness to stay and the feelings to go away But they always come back rushing, leaving my thoughts unsettled and pushing against the walls, I had built around me, that no one could pass but everyone could see.

There was something else that stayed back with me, The words of my mother, The words of hope you see That things get better if you let them in, but I had realized that letting in was a sin.

I used to love light When it was within my reach, It was warm and soft, But with time I knew it was just a glitch. I can’t get used to it again The pain will not let me, And I can’t fight this pain It is what makes me see things so clearly.

Or at least that was what I thought.

Until you came along With the same darkness in your eyes, the same emptiness of soul, And the same disgust for untold lies. But your darkness was deeper, murkier, blacker and somewhat sadder I couldn’t see past the dark veil on your eyes, but I could feel my gaze driving you madder.

I hated the light because I had seen its power You hated it because you had never seen it, I hated love because it made me weak You hated it because you had never felt it, and I loved darkness because it drove away the light You loved it because it was all you had ever had.

Fear was something I had never felt, ever since I gave in to the darkness around me and as for you, I could feel your fear reach out to me, the moment you looked at me, A rush of emotions coursed through me, and although I hated feeling, I felt sad and helpless for you as I lay that night, staring at the ceiling.

I couldn’t get you out of my mind and that was what got me to think, There must be more like you and me living their lives scared on the brink. I didn’t remember much about the world out there, or how beautiful it was in the month of May But suddenly I was willing to stand up and make a world for you and me somewhere far away.

I do recall though how after a point, Even the colours and the light could not relieve me of the pain that always came back And defeated, I never tried to make it leave. But today as I see you before me in the deep rungs of darkness and despair, I extend to you a helping hand, To pull you out of there, into the arms of care.

I know you’re scared, and I know you don’t know me But I have been there alone and impoverished, and so I ask you to trust me. I promise you things will get better, I promise you we will clear the weather, But for now when we only have each other, I say, let’s be scared together.

– Awanika Srivastava

#Poetry #Love #Feeling #Life #Musings #Thoughts #Hope #Sadness #Writing